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Author Topic: BBQ RULES  (Read 3027 times)

Offline Irwin

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BBQ RULES
« on: December 16, 2009, 09:34:39 am »
BBQ RULES


We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
 

 

 

 Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
 

 More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
 

 

 

 Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

 

 

 

 More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

 

 

 And most important of all:


(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS
HIM for his cooking efforts.
 

 

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
     

Fight organized crime!  Re-elect no one.

Offline HAB

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2009, 03:18:02 pm »
Those rules are Guaranteed to keep you in the dog house FOREVER!  :devilbanana: :devilbanana: :devilbanana:

Offline 1reb

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2009, 07:42:45 pm »
dog house ? how about graveyard

Johnny

Offline cow pollinater

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2009, 08:34:37 pm »
After our first BBQ my wife had the nerve to point out that she did alot of work while I got all the credit... Problem solved-I taught HER how to cook on the grill so now all I have to do is drink beer and swap the occasional propane tank.  I prefer oak coals to propane but then I'd have to do it myself, so I settle for swapping propane tanks.
I still get most of the credit for taste 'cause I raised the beef. ;)
If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger... Or maims you for life.

Offline deknow

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2009, 08:57:51 pm »
I still get most of the credit for taste 'cause I raised the beef. ;)

that reads a lot better than "...'cause i pollinated the beef"!

deknow

Offline cow pollinater

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2009, 09:09:06 pm »
Well, the real money for me is in artificial insemenation, raising beef is on the side.  Cow pollination... flitting from cow to cow fertilizing them... Ha ha, cute play on beekeeping.
Say deknow, why are you even posting in the humor section when you can't take a joke? :?
If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger... Or maims you for life.

Offline mudlakee

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2009, 09:54:02 pm »
Are any of those women for hire??  Tony

Offline deknow

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Re: BBQ RULES
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2009, 10:13:23 pm »
Say deknow, why are you even posting in the humor section when you can't take a joke? :?

...i'm not exactly sure what you are referring to, but i'm willing to bet that any "joke" you can point to that i haven't "been able to take" would be deleted from this forum.....but as far as i'm concerned, you are welcome to quote anything i've posted to show how i "can't take a joke"...my guess is it wasn't terribly funny, and probably offensive to.

deknow

 

anything