> > The next time someone asks you a dumb question
> wouldn't you like to respond like this?
> >
> > Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large
> bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bisquit, the Wonder
> Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me
> asked if I had a dog.
> >
> > What did she think I had, an elephant? So since
> I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
> that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina
> Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because
> I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
> 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
> tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
> arms.
> >
> > I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
> that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets
> with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
> feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works
> well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
> here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
> with my story.)
> >
> > Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
> because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped
> off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit
> us both.
> >
> > I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
> attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me
> shop there anymore.
> >
> > Better watch what you ask retired people. They have
> all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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This was an e-mail sent to me.
...JP :-D