George Carlin said it..,

[GSF]

•“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”

•“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

•“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”

•“Well, if crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, what to freedom fighters fight?  They never mention that part to us, do they?”

•“Think off-center.”

•“When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”

•“The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.”

•“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”

•“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

•“Electricity is just organized lightning.”

•“I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it will work.”

•“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

[pomicultorul]

1. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

2. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

3. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

4. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.