Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum

MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: adgjoan on February 15, 2009, 03:36:56 pm

Title: You can never learn to much
Post by: adgjoan on February 15, 2009, 03:36:56 pm




If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates s@x by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have s@x for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
 
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: Big John on February 15, 2009, 06:29:04 pm
 X:X   :cheer:
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: HAB on February 15, 2009, 06:58:05 pm
I want to talk to that pig!!! :bee: :bee: :bee:
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: JP on February 15, 2009, 07:33:20 pm
Probably the sow. :-D Did you know a pig's thingy is shaped like a corkscrew? Saw it on tv.


...JP



sorry JP, meant to QUOTE, not modify - I fixed it :)
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: adgjoan on February 15, 2009, 08:22:58 pm
Mrs. Pig probably has time to do a crossword puzzle while her old man does his thang. 
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: Brian D. Bray on February 16, 2009, 12:30:44 am
Mrs. Pig probably has time to do a crossword puzzle while her old man does his thang. 

Yeah, you know the honey moon is over when the wife talks on the phone through the whole thing...now that's romance.   :lau:

Quote
a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

My wife already calls me a pig but I think it's because of the way I eat, it can't be from the way I love. :flyingpig:
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: BjornBee on February 16, 2009, 07:39:23 am
If I can pick the 50, I'll take the lion..... :-D

Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: Cindi on February 16, 2009, 05:33:30 pm
Bawaaaaaa!!!  I am laughing my guts out at the list, and I am laughing the rest of my guts out after reading all the replies to the original list.  Oh this is a funnnnneee one. BUT....I don't see any women responding to this post, that is because we are ladies, hee, hee, smiling.

Personally, I think that most men are related to the pig, now how do you like that one?   :-P :-P :-P.  Have a great and most wonderful day, health.  Cindi
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: adgjoan on February 17, 2009, 06:27:42 am
Miss Cindy,  I beg to differ.

I thought of putting up a poll to see how many men had "pig envy".

Joan
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: BjornBee on February 17, 2009, 08:46:07 am
I keep thinking of that scene in "deliverance"..... :shock:

Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: JP on February 17, 2009, 10:35:04 am
I keep thinking of that scene in "deliverance"..... :shock:



Funny, I keep thinking of this scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE


...JP
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: BjornBee on February 17, 2009, 10:50:42 am
I keep thinking of that scene in "deliverance"..... :shock:



Funny, I keep thinking of this scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE


...JP

I've never seen that movie. Now it looks like I may need too.  :-D 
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: JP on February 17, 2009, 11:06:30 am
"I'll have what she's having!"


...JP :-D
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: beemaster on February 17, 2009, 11:08:41 am
Probably the sow. :-D Did you know a pig's thingy is shaped like a corkscrew? Saw it on tv.


...JP



It's light a lightbulb, if you screw it in wrong, you can break it!    :lau:
Title: Re: You can never learn to much
Post by: Cindi on February 17, 2009, 11:38:31 am
"I'll have what she's having!"
...JP :-D

Ooh I loved that show, and Meg did have the best line of all time itself, can't get that picture out of my mind!!!

Joan, gotcha!!  Most men do I would venture, smiling.  Have that wonderful and awesome day, life, health.  Cindi