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Author Topic: Divorce  (Read 1934 times)

Offline iddee

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Divorce
« on: March 17, 2016, 11:56:59 am »
A  judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

"About  four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream  running by."

"No,"  he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do anything about it."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."

The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?"

"Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!"

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The darn fool says he can't communicate with me."
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline mikecva

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2016, 12:09:59 pm »
 :happy: :grin: :cheesy:
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Listen to others but make your own decisions. That way you own the results.
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Offline BeeMaster2

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2016, 01:21:21 pm »
 :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.
Ben Franklin

Offline Sundog

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2016, 01:32:29 am »
That has a creepy familiar feeling about it...

:cool:

Offline gww

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2016, 01:05:37 pm »
Have you heard of the new divorce barbie that mattel is putting out.  You get a barbie and all ken's things.
Cheers
gww

 

anything