Nebraska Farmer

[GSF]

An 80-year-old Nebraska Farmer goes to the Mayo clinic in Rochester
for a check-up.

 
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
How ​do you stay in such great physical condition?'
     
I'm from Nebraska and in my spare time I like to hunt and fish says the ​old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before ​daylight feeding cattle, mending fences, planting, baling hay, and when I'm not doing that, I'm out hunting or fishing. In the evening, I have a beer and all is well.'
 
Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be ​more to it. How old was your father when he died?'

 

Who said my Father's dead?'


 

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your father's ​still alive? How old is he?'


He's 100 years old,' says the old Nebraskan. 'In fact  he worked with and ​hunted with me this morning, and then we went to the topless bar for a ​while and had a little beer and that's why he's still alive. He's a Nebraska Farmer and he's a hunter and fisherman too.'
 

Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to
it than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when he died?'


Who said my Grandpa's dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your ​grandfather's still alive?'

 

He's 118 years old,' says the man. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went ​hunting with you this morning too?'


No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'


At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!!...????
Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?'


Who said he wanted to?'

[BlueBee]

 :lau:

I've had a number of relatives make it over 100.  I asked an old uncle one time what his secret was, but it wasn't as colorful as this parable.  :)

[tefer2]

 X:X  good one!

[jayj200]

 :bee: :yippiechick:

[Switchback]

 :cheer: :cheer:

[mikecva]

 :brian: :cheer: :goodpost: :lau:  Love it.  -Mike

[BeeMaster2]

 :lau: :lau:

[Michael Bush]

Three old men are sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons and watching the squirrels.  One addressed the one next to him and asks how old he is and what he attributes his longevity to.  The one next to him says, "Well, I'm 98 and I had a job doing manual labor most of my life, and I stayed in good shape.  I didn't smoke or drink.  I never caroused with women.   I suppose that has something to do with it."  The first one then says, "I'm 101 and I guess I'm similar, but I had a desk job.  Still I always exercised regularly, took vitamins and ate well.  I avoided fried foods.  I was also a bachelor and I totally avoided women and am chaste to this day."  The second guy nods his head.  They both turn to the third guy who looks obviously older than either of them and ask him about his life.  The third guy says "I mostly spent my life watching TV and playing video games.  I smoked, drank, ate whatever I wanted, ran around with women, and did all kinds of drugs."  The other two men are astonished and ask "how old are you?"  The third guy says "34"

[thewhiterhino]

 :brian: :lau:

[iddee]

While reading that one, I was expecting the third one to ask, "Why would you want to live"?

[Michael Bush]

>While reading that one, I was expecting the third one to ask, "Why would you want to live"?

My dad is fond of telling the story about how if you don't eat red meat, fatty food, drink coffee, eat sugar etc. you'll live three  years longer.  Of course it will seem like 30 years longer...

[AllenF]

 :-D