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Author Topic: How to tell if someone is a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner  (Read 165 times)

Offline Groundhawg

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This has been around for awhile but wanted to bring it back.

How to tell if someone is a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner

Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:
You?re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.   Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you?
You are carrying a Glock 21 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
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Democrat?s Answer:Well, that?s not enough information to answer the question! What is a Glock 21 cal. 45 ACP?  Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?  Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?  Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?  Is it possible he?d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?  Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.  I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!
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Republican?s Answer:  BANG!
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Southerner?s Answer:  BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click?..(Sounds of reloading)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.
Daughter: ?Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Federal Hollow Points?!?
Son: ?Can I shoot the next one?!?
Wife: ?You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!

Gracious words are like a honey comb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.  Proverbs 16:24

Offline herbhome

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Laughing out loud on this one! :cheesy: :cheesy:

Offline sawdstmakr

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 :cheesy: :cheesy:
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline gww

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Groundhwg
Quote
Wife: ?You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!
Yea, that was funny.
Cheers
gww

Offline tycrnp

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 :wink:

Offline beecanbee

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Southern Democrat:  Do I shoot the knife, or just shoot a warning shot?  Didn`t we just pass a law banning knives?  I wonder, is he a Southern Baptist, Assemblies of God, Lutheran, Adventist, Prebyterian, or maybe a Mormon?  Does that knife have a hilt, and is thus really a cross? ...
"I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson