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Author Topic: Bud the Cowboy  (Read 126 times)

Offline stung again

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Bud the Cowboy
« on: May 17, 2017, 11:26:30 PM »
>  Bud the Cowboy
>>
>> A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2017 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni? suit, Gucci? shoes, RayBan? sunglasses and YSL? tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
>>
>> Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
>>
>> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell? notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
>>
>> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop? and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
>>
>> Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad? that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL? database through an ODBC connected Excel? spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5? and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
>>
>> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet? printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>>
>> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
>>
>> He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>>
>> Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>>
>> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
>>
>> "You're a Democrat and a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
>>
>> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
>>
>> "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars' worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know about how working people make a living... or about cows, for that matter...
>> "This is a herd of sheep."
>>
>> "Now give me back my dog."

Offline sawdstmakr

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Re: Bud the Cowboy
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2017, 01:34:08 PM »
A good old one brought back to life. :cheesy:
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."--Mark Twain

Offline beecanbee

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Re: Bud the Cowboy
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2017, 01:09:46 AM »
Indeed - nice update.
"I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."  Duncan Vandiver

A boy can do half the work of a man, but two boys do less, and three boys get nothing done at all. :)

(False) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.  - Samuel Johnson

 

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