Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum

MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: johnnybigfish on January 29, 2008, 10:11:11 pm

Title: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: johnnybigfish on January 29, 2008, 10:11:11 pm
  Hi guys!
 I may have mentioned in another post about helping my sis install an attic fan..I think I also mentioned to you about how my wife can write stories.
 I thought I'd pass this one along! Hope you like it!
your friend,
john

Hey!  Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to mom and Dad.... You
know...kinda one of those "guess what we did this weekend" jobs.
Hope you like it!
:-)

Mwa!!!



"Ok... so John is on a ladder working with the louvers and he forces
them up into the hole.  He says, "Ok, turn on the fan."  Sure enough,
the louvers open as the powerful fan sucks them up.  Along with all the
dust on johns shoulders. The few hairs on the top of his head stand
erect. It was pretty neat. Talk about great air flow.  Truly great
suction. Yup, powerful. Really really great...
 
So John now has gotten the idea of where the hole has to be cut wider to
fix the annoying rattle that the louvers make while the fan is turned on
because the hole is too tight.  He starts pulling the louvers out. 
I ask, "Don't you think I should turn the fan off first??" 
He says, "Nah, I'm not close enough to get hit by it."
"Oh, ok" I say admiringly, sensing the wisdom behind his words.
The instant the louvers break free, they are sucked up into the fan. A
fan blade smacks down on the louver and hurls it down again like a
machete, slicing a Comanche pleasing piece of scalp from the top of his
head. About the size of a quarter.
"Chunk of John" lands on the louver with a splat.
Definitely a crowd pleaser. 
EWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! is the consentual word for the rest of the
day.
Cool!
Of course, he starts bleeding. And he's got a big boo boo on the top of
his head.
But really, he doesn't look much worse from any other time that he mows
the lawn, losing scalp to murderous mesquite limbs.
Having seen him in this state many times before everyone returns to
work, leaving him to his job.
Ok... actually, people couldn't look at him.  He looked like the devil,
man!  He asfixed a clump of toilette paper to the top of his head, stuck
there by nature's red glue.
He finished fixing the hole and the louvers...with the fan turned off,
......of course! Whaddaya think, he's crazy or something?????
We did a few more things, ripping carpet out and moving furniture out of
the way, etc. We finished off the day eating hamburgers from the grill
and retelling the louver vs John story.  Which led to the bee sting
between the eyes story, which led to the accidently getting shot by a
.22 between the eyes story, which led to the bungee cord hook between
the eyes story, which led to the trying to explode a claymore primer
with a wooden palette story, etc..... sadly... all true stories, LOL!!"

Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Burl on January 30, 2008, 01:48:41 am
John , Thanks for sharing your real life humor with us .  Maybe you should have a "fan" club .   At least you're not as bad as the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work .  We're pullin' for ya John , cause we're all in this thing together.
                                                     Your sympathetic friend   ---Burl---
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Cindi on January 30, 2008, 11:07:34 am
John, oh yes, you must be a piece of work for sure, hee, hee.  Yep, yep, made me laugh that squeeky little laugh.  Your Wife writes well, she is descriptive and tells one whomping good story, takes ya right there.  You be careful in your life stuff, eh?  Have a wonderful, great day, Cindi
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Brian D. Bray on January 30, 2008, 08:35:33 pm
I always do my wiring with live wires--need to make sure which is which when doing double switches and the colors are supposed to be reversed.
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Understudy on January 30, 2008, 08:53:48 pm
I shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others.

:-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)  :-D  :lol:  :) :-D  :lol:  :)


Sincerely,
Brendhan

Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: johnnybigfish on January 30, 2008, 09:24:23 pm
Hee hee....Yeh,.."behind"...

 Did I ever tellya about when me and James were in the back of my camper at Inks lake state park and the truck and camper decided to roll about an 8th of a mile downhill. We avoided running over people camping out in all directions around us..James and i thought were were in a tornado as the truck was bouncing all over the place and our drinks were splashing around and the ash tray was sliding all over the table we sat at. Of course the power went out too!! And we continued "jamming" ..Him on the guitar and me on the harmonica!!..WE were REAL COOOOL, man!!
Once we came to a stop, I opened the back door and told James" We must be in the EYE"!..All our stuff was gone!! As we kinda fell outta the truck a fella came out and says"Ayyy, man.....Must be some good weed you got there"..I said,"what happened here?...He says"All I know is that i saw a big ford coming right at us and NOBODY in the cab!!"
 We came to a stop about 10 feet from his tent!!!
It turns out that all our stuff didnt blow away after all...It was way back where we left it!
 I'll elaborate a little more about this in the future sometime!

 Who says theres no such thing as miracles?!
  James had a finger missing by the way, and he still plays a mean guitar!
Next time i'll tell you about when James shot me between the eyes!
 your friend,
john
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Cindi on January 31, 2008, 12:10:29 am
Oh John!!!  What a picture, that sounds like something just straight out of a comic book.  Unbelievable that you guys were so into what you were doing that you didn't even get what was going on, what a hilarious hoot and a hollar, funnneeeee,  :lol: :lol: :lol:  Have a great day, Cindi
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Scadsobees on January 31, 2008, 09:07:09 am
From the sounds of it, the real miracle is that you are still alive after all that :shock:

Those bald head wounds leave neat scars. My dad has a neat circle scar on his pate from running into the end of a pipe in our crawlspace. :roll:

<sigh> will us guys never learn???

 :-D
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Cindi on January 31, 2008, 10:55:45 am
Come to think of it, it seems that when there is no hair on the top of a guy's head, whether they are shaved or just bald, they are more prone to accidents.  My poor Husband has never had so many head wounds since he began to shave his head, so many years ago.  Oh brother, what is with men and the top of their heads anyways?  Do women ever get the top of their heads all banged up and ugly looking  :roll: :-D :)  Have a great and safe top of the head day, Cindi
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: JP on January 31, 2008, 11:07:40 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IspNFvpsBY Was it something like this John?


......JP
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: johnnybigfish on January 31, 2008, 08:10:38 pm
Well JP...
  It wasnt quite like that..LOL!! We stayed upright!
 Yep, theres marks on my head but they all kind of blend in..The only ones you can see now are the "Lichens".(my wife calls them that). Those are the spots that the Dr tells you to keep out of the sun!
 I wish my buddy Paul would come here....Every time his friend, David comes around I make him tell the "Flashlight in the sewer tunnel story". I'd have to record it some way and make an audio of it as Paul types slower than me!
Your friend,
john
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: JP on January 31, 2008, 11:21:39 pm
Flashlite in the sewer tunnel sounds interesting.

......JP
Title: Re: I CAN install an attic fan!
Post by: Cindi on February 01, 2008, 12:29:24 am
John, oh no!!!!  You have set a mystery.  Now we want to hear about that flashlight in the sewer, get your buddy to say it and you type it out for him.  Do it in a word document and then you could copy it into the forum one time, hee, hee.  That may be a lot of work, but if you think the story is worth it, well, then for dang sakes, it must be worth it.  Do that, sometime when you get some time and your buddy, Paul, comes around.  Have a great and wonderful day.  Cindi