Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: Brian D. Bray on February 24, 2009, 10:56:57 pm
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Got this in an email, being an ex-cop it made me laugh, I have a few like it myself.
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
"Only when he's been drinking."
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X:X :-D J
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I see some going to :jail:
Johnny
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I had a police officer teaching a defensive driving course tell us of the time he wrote forty something tickets on this one stop. A guy was driving erratically so the cop went after him. That is when the chase started. The guy ran stop signs and red lights and turned many corners without signaling. Finally cut through a city park and got stuck in the mud. The driver jumped out of the vehicle and running towards the cops yelled out "Run for your lives the aliens are coming" They tackled him and asked what aliens.
"Didn't you see their red and blue lights chasing me?"
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Good one Brian
Keith
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Some of the episodes about speeding drivers I have personal knowledge:
Officer to driver: "Boy, you were really flying, can I see you pilots license?"...........the driver had a pilots license.
Driver to Officer: "Your siren made me pee my pants!".............driver was hurrying to a rest stop.
Driver to Officer: "This is a Volkswagen, it can't go that fast."...........if I had a nickle for that one.
Driver to Officer: "How do I know how fast I was going, my speedometer's broken."............stopped for speeding and not lights.
That'll do for now.