I could not handle a queen.. I have no feeling in a couple fingers, and I could not tell how much pressure I was using... I only killed a single queen and never touched another one... until one day I WAS catching drones for kids, as you mentioned... and I did not want to harm them.. I was not using my thumb and pointer finger, I was using my thumb and middle finger.. I did so without thinking, and about the third drone I realized what I was doing...
Now using those two fingers I can catch the queen. Transfer her to my other hand/fingers holding her from underneath with her legs resting on my finger.. she will actually grab hold with her feet and hang on while I hold her, then use the other hand to pick up the grass stem, dip in testers model paint.. adjust volume on stem, and TOUCH the queens thorax.. Wait a few seconds, blow lightly, then point her head downward into the frames and release her...
I know what you mean about confidence. Catching drones IS easier, and I think they are also more robust than a queen.. I just try to remember that a queen CAN sting me so I handle her with a WEE bit more care...