Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: beemaster on January 20, 2011, 12:25:08 am
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I'm starting two posts this and one called PUNCHLINES where all you give is the punchline and see if others remember or heard the joke. Good thing about punchlines, the joke can be risque' but the punchline perfectly clean.
But here is my entry in ONE LINE JOKES:
A club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
What's yours :)
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It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
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Two's a couple.
Three's a party. "or orgy"
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The only way to keep a secret, is to "tell ONE person" then kill him!
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If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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two blonds walk into a building - you think one of them would have seen it
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Here's a one liner I pull on my wife sometimes...in a crowd:
Marry you? Heck lady, I don't even know you!
She loves it. :evil:
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Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
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Do you smell anything? :-D
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S... H......!
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a guy walks into a bar and says ow.
2 guys walk into a bar you"lld think one of them would of seen it.
A nun, preist ,2 rabbii's, and 7 penguins walk into a bar the bartender looks up and says " what is this a joke?"
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What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."
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What kind of bees make milk?
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Boobies!
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It's so cold out today that the nudist colony down the road had a sign out front that said "open, but clothed".
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Hay Y'all watch this!!!!..................
Wrote a song about it like to hear it here ya go.............................
Ever danced with the Devil in the pale moon light?
Can Geico save you a ton of money?......................
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Women are like hurricanes, because when they come they are wet and wild but when they leave they take your house and car with them!
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How are a tornado and an Osteen divorce alike?...no matter what, somebody's loosin' a trailer!
They invented the tooth brush here...anywhere else it would've been called the "teeth" brush.
Scott
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Cat the other white meat.
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Salmon, the other pink meat :-D
Scott
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Beekeepers love to eat their honey.
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Beekeepers love to eat their honey.
:evil: :evil:
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If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
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WORSE THING I EVER HEARD SAID ABOUT HONEYBEES... A mother tells her toddler that "Honey comes from SQUEESING the QUEENS til there's no juice left" That was in a book by Isaac Isomov.
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Never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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"Did you fart?"..............................."Dang right I did. You think I smell like that all the time?"
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"Did you fart?"..............................."Nope, truck just smells like that all the time"
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My Uncle in Chicago was a staunch conservative and voted straight line Republican until the day he died.
Now, he votes Democrat.
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Buy a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'' buy enough rods and tackle for ten lifetimes
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my favorite J foxworthy
If you've ever been to drunk to fish. You could be a redneck
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Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his fly. Bartender asks "What's with the steering wheel?"
Pirate sez....
"Arrrrrrgh...it's drivin' me nuts."
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What do you call a Bear without an ear? a "B"
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Where can you find a dog with no legs?....Right where you left him!
Scott
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where does a one-legged waitress work ? IHOP
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what's her name ? Ilene
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If she's Asian it's Irene.
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"How are you? Wait, I just remembered - I don't care."
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The best laugh is always at yourself.
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A police officer asked a man that's wrecked his car into a light pole. I see we have a problem! the Man responds saying. ( No I park like this all the time. ) here's your sign. :-D
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Beekeepers love to eat their honey.
NO NO NO. Beekeepers like to LICK their Honey.
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If Barak and 100 other people are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
The country.
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Best one-liner of the weekend:
"If we want to keep our nation's secrets a 'SECRET' then we should store them where President Obama stores his college transcripts and birth certificate."Gov. Mike Huckabee
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Only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another a liar.