ok...this got me laughing like few things before i mean...oh LOL
Dog and Cat diary biggrin.gif
DOG DIARY
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
> make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
> eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
> me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
> again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
> headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
> their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
> However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good
> little hunter' I am. Bastards!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
> could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
> means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful
> in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
> feet as he was walking. I must try this again to morrow -- but at the
> top of the stairs.
>
>
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
> seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.