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Author Topic: CHILDREN !!!  (Read 2069 times)

Offline iddee

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CHILDREN !!!
« on: July 03, 2009, 07:32:17 pm »
GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)




To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces,nephews,or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was ' DON'T ! '

'Don't what ? ' Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.

'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '



'No Way! '
'Yes way ! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' said God.




'Why ? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? ' God asked.





'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.

'Then why did you ? '
said the Father.

'I don't know,'
said Eve.
'She started it ! '
Adam said.

'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:




'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!


 
 
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me . . . Anything can happen, child. Anything can be"

*Shel Silverstein*

Offline 1reb

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Re: CHILDREN !!!
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2009, 09:43:35 pm »
 :evil:

Offline G3farms

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Re: CHILDREN !!!
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2009, 10:00:00 pm »
HAHA that was pretty good, I have four teenage daughters running around the house.

G3
those hot bees will have you steppin and a fetchin like your heads on fire and your keister is a catchin!!!

Bees will be bees and do as they please!

Offline mathispollenators

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Re: CHILDREN !!!
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2009, 05:15:53 pm »
I understand and pray all my kids have at least one child just like themselves.  That said they can take that as a punishment or a blessing it's up to how they act or think the act.
Without Thomas Edison & Alexander Graham Bell we wouldn't have the graveyard shift or Telemarketers.  So how do you like them now?

Offline qa33010

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Re: CHILDREN !!!
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2009, 04:54:55 pm »
    The 'Mothers Curse' is alive and well in this household.  The "I hope that when you grow up and have kids that they are just like you!." is working well.
    Great story!!!
Everyone said it couldn't be done. But he with a chuckle replied, "I won't be one to say it is so, until I give it a try."  So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin.  If he had a worry he hid it and he started to sing as he tackled that thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.  (unknown)