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Author Topic: CARP  (Read 1353 times)

Offline GSF

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CARP
« on: April 16, 2014, 07:07:53 am »

CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People

Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
 

Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
 
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
 

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
 
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
 

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true?
Where can it be found?
 
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."
 

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
 
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
 

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
 
A: Take off your glasses.
 

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
 
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
 

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
 
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
 

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
 
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
 

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
 
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
 

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
 
A: On their foreheads.
 

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
 
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
 
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you - then you know your nation is doomed.

Offline tefer2

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Re: CARP
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 08:44:31 am »
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