Old Man Jokes

[Salvo]

An old guy is sitting at a bar. A young woman walks in and sits down a couple seats over. The old man gets up, shuffles over to her, leans over and asks *So, do I come here often?*



An old man went to the doctor. The doctor says: *I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have Alzheimer's.*
The old man says *Well, at least I don't have cancer!*



The doctor says to the old man "I'll need to check your blood, urine, and stool. The old guy, who is virtually deaf, turns to his wife and shouts "WHAT'D HE SAY?". His wife says: *The doctor said he wants to see your underwear*.

Sal

[Salvo]

An old man goes back to bed ...And asks his wife " does the light in our bathroom turn on and off automatically ", she replies with "No why?", the old man sighs and says "well.... I'm going to buy a new fridge tomorrow"



I asked an old man, "Even after 60 years of being married, how can you still call your wife 'Honey', 'Darling' and 'Sweetheart'?"He replied, "Well I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her!"




Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!