Beemaster's International Beekeeping Forum
MEMBER & GUEST INTERACTION SECTION => HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING => Topic started by: MrILoveTheAnts on April 15, 2007, 08:02:18 pm
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I've herd everything from, diseases to cell phones causing CCD. And every news article I've read seems to reference to some scientist (usually from Europe) who did something to some bees and then CCD occurred.
So I've decided to start a list of 100 outrageous things that could also cause CCD. It's not complete so feel free to add.
1) The launch of Windows Vista.
2) 7 years of George Bush in office.
3) Bees searching for Non-smoking section of the world.
4) Sanjaya's singing voice on American Idol.
5) The death of Anna Nicole Smith.
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6) Carnivorous plants
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7) Internet pornography.
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8 ) The Nintendo Wii.
9) Cigarettes.
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10) CCD started to occur when the workers created a union.
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11) Canadian Super Villeins join forces and have unleashed their "Bee Magnet" upon the world. Soon they will destroy us all.
12) Bees cash in their frequent flier miles and vacation in the Bahamas.
13) Dog Chromosomes manage their way into the Honey Bee Genome. Workers cannot stop flying in circles, while trying to catch their stinger.
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14) activist judges
15) Aliens from Mars
16) Viagria
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17) people who like Matt Kenseth in Nascar (like the all powerful Beemaster whom picks his nose daily)
18) gas prices
19) the ps3
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20 ) Hords of flesh-eating zombies trying to relieve the pain of undead arthritis.
21) The Mile High club... I think we all know why.
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22. They heard those dumb blond jokes and became dumb blonds.
23. That satellite the Chinese destroyed was their GPS locater.
24. They don't call it loco weed for nothin'.
25. They heard Cyndi Lauper singing about how girls just want to have fun.
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26) All Bees abscouned to Jerrymac's fortified Bunker after the arrival of the 6000 gallon tanker of queen pheromone.
27) Kathyp's logical and wellspoken Conservative thinking changed these Social Creatures to Capitolists, they now reside in the lower-levels of Wall Street waiting to buy all pollinated fruit and veggie stocks BEFORE the inevitable market climb occurs.
28) Buzzbeejr found 1 billion miniture Axis Power uniforms, supplying all the bees he could with them. After finding out his effort to make a fair game of Enemy Territory had gone all wrong, he turned his weapons on his team mates in a futile game of Civil War.
29) A distant planet from Earth needed honeybees in order to pollinate their crops after the buzzerpooh insect went extinct due to the dreaded cyclical Global Cooling - they sent their entire fleet of motherships to Earth and transmitted their massive pheromone waves, all workerbee (and those lazy drones) flew up to the low hovering ships and within minutes the air-craft was well on its way back to its own Galaxy.
PS - Thanks Jerry
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30) A terrorist honey bee sleeper cell of suicide stingers was activated.
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31) The Initiative on Cybernations.com hahhaa
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32) They heard that Al sharpton and Jessie Jackson were coming to fight for their cause
33) Its five o'clock somewhere.Happy hour and all you can eat buffet.(can clear an office pretty quick too!) :lol: :lol: :lol:
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(34) they joined the army reserve trying to bee all that they can bee
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36) The Honey Bee internal GPS system gets its directions from Map Quest now.
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37) Cingular is the NEW AT&T.
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38) The UCLA as decide to list bees as underpriviledged and represent them.
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39) Unlike the humans, they actually listened to the dolphins and are leaving earth before the vogon destructor ship arrives..
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40) They received a voice message from Alec Baldwin :-D
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41) someone accidentally put dope in the smoker instead of normal smoker fuels.
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42) http://members.shaw.ca/ahtenaga/shoes.html Athletes Foot.
43) Attempting to understand modern art. http://members.shaw.ca/ahtenaga/home.html
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Lots of reasons here.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2454933
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45 (I think)
By befriending the yellowjack, the honeybee has moved underground where NO ONE would ever expect to look.
46) The Mothership collected them all, dropped them off in FRANCH and the poor things all committed suiside.
47) Some "not to bright worker" got sold on Amway products, now they all are going door to door JUST to break even.
48) After getting caught at a drive-in movie one night, they all saw the movie SAW III and are scared to return to dark places.
49) They heard of a rumor that God is starting a new Garden of Eden and thought the trip was well worth the effort concidaring man has turned them into a modified ant-farm and they no longer feel like real bees.
50) Because of record increases of sunspot activity, the bees are spending an extra hour a day in the field, only to be lost and stuck there at night - consequently, the BAT POPULATION in 2007 has doubled world wide and expected to continue to rise until no bees are left or DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME is done away with!!!!!!
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51) verizon's new family plan.
52) the new motorola razr.
52) the price of gas keeps bees from returning home from the fields.
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53) Istanbul is Constantinople now
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54) The bees heard Rosie ODonnell is going to become beekeeper (look how she destroyed K-Mart!)
55) [Broke Back Mountain would only kill all the drones...]
56) Trump and Sue Bee have hired a mob to ruin beekeeping because the apprentice beekeeping show didn't get the ratings expected.
57) High Tension Power Lines (competing buzz)
58) The magnetic poles are about to flip, they're partying in antartica
59) Arial Chem-Trails
60) Hey, I don't like the looks of the 2008 election either, I'm considering leaving the country too!
61) How do you think the Aussie get all their bees for cheap packages anyway? (kidnapping?)
62) The bees are all on location filming the fall "B movie"
63) The newspaper's frequent misspelling of "fowlbrood" has made the bees migrate on their own.
64) Bee extras need for the next Bush's Honey Beens advertisement.
65) There's a giant beehive following the Hale Bop Comet, put on your bee sneakers and don't be afraid to eat the apple sauce.
66) Tom Cruise is doing some freaky stuff, maybe he's doing something with the bees?
67) Interest rates must be on the rise, I think we are having a hiving bust.
68) KFC no trans-fat, maybe the bees are at a consortum to work out the "honey sauce" thing next?
69) Al-queda is posing as beekeepers and destroying world pollination.
70) Bees all got a copy of Forest Gump and decided to start flying and just keep on flying....
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71.) There is a severe distortion in the Torsion Flux matrix...
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72)They played to much Enemy Territory and got Elbow Tendonites, so they couldn't continue flying , right John :-D
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73) Dale Jr. may leave DEI
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78) Wikipedia!
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What happened to 74 through 77?
Lost in space where acid rain caught up with them.
doak
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(74) I heard that God decided that the bees were more worthy of the rapture than we humans were.
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75) Must be something in the water
76) It's all the vitamins they have now a days. They're growing up way too
fast
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77) Global Warming :roll:
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Why without question , it has to be Shakespeare's "Hamlet" . You know "To bee or not to bee ---" ---Burl---
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Or was that correctly 'MacBeth' ? "Oh to suffer the outrageous slings and arrows of fortune. "
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(79) They heard Hilary's laugh
(80) Al Gore won the noble peace prize
(81) They became liberal and decided to quit working for the man
(82) Too many illegal mexicans to deal with