DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the
Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They
started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away...
Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says
'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff,
'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect
me to show it to you!'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde
were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot!
You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked,
'Is it on or off?'
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO. . . ,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch
dogs'
Topic: The Blondes are back (Read 2001 times)