Cruise to the Islands

It was cold here in the Eastern US and we were dressed for the weather at home, not the 92 degrees in Miami, Florida. Here I am carrying 4 suitcases with a heavy suit jacket on and I knew that it would be a good hour before we were aboard the ship.

After settling in our cabin and stripping down to cruising' wear, we made our way to the aft of the ship for a celebratory wave to those on land and our ships Sister Ship the Celebration. It was there that I met the Sisters Three. Young babes in bikini's on the trip with their parents and all three ready to party all they can. Here they are a few hours later on the sunning deck.

We had a table of eight for dinner each evening with the same co-diners. All was going ok until a black lawyer and his Chicago Cop wife decided to question everyone there on Affirmative Action. He wasn't happy when I frankly spoke that I thought everyone should have the SAME chance at a job and that the BETTER QUALIFIED applicant should get the job every time. He didn't see the common sense of my opinion and he stamped me as a bigot. That really didn't stop anyone from having a great time, we just had very differing opinions.

Our first stop was to Cozumel, Mexico. We went by tender boat, a small boat that holds about 60 people like a school bus. Peddlers sold Silver chains at a fraction of US prices as the tender rode high on the breaking waves.

We buddied around with a couple from the Mid-West named Barry and Joanne. This day, we took the 12 mile ride to the snorkeling area of the whitest beach I've ever seen. We placed our wallets and stuff in simple lockers in a changing room. I sun screened every inch of me, except for a small area on my left leg - which would turn out to be a major mistake in this Equatorial region. We waded out throughout the shallow waters and rocks and suddenly the ground below our feet disappeared and a 30 foot pool of crystalline green water with a huge anchor encrusted in the sand below. Someday I promise to search out the history of the anchor, but it seemed to be a relic from a few centuries ago.

The four of us ate on a roof-top restaurant overlooking our ship and the tender boat dock. After eating we shopped the many small craft stores. I found an incredible hand crafted Onyx Chess Set and board that I could have had for $40.00. It would be impossible to carry back to the states and I never thought about having it shipped, so I left it behind. That night we went to a comedy club on the ship. And we started feeling some Atlantic Waves rock the ship, but something didn't feel right to me - it was sun poisoning and it was only just beginning.

On the way back to the cabin I felt like going down on my knees with lightheadedness. I wasn't seasick, although the strong waves weren't helping my stomach sit any easier. By 3am I felt near death or at least wish I were dead. We pulled into Grand Caymen Islands, I was only able to crawl out of bed and look out the window. No way I could go to the Island, Tracey stayed aboard too, but she did play $50 bingo and shop.

That night, I could not attend dinner and it was festive. The ship's TV system played a march of all the waiters and bus boys with flaming candles nested in straw island hats. It sure looked like a fun time, I was on day two and still out of commission. We spent the next day at sea, cruising toward Ocho Rios, Jamaica, which is the crux of this story.

Our ship docked at a port in Ocho Rios, which we both agree is dangerous and dirty. For three days we were warned on the ship to NOT buy drugs from locals and to only use taxis with red license plates. The rules were simple, locals sell you drugs and then call the police and point you out for a finders fee. The Jamaican Police love Americans and their money. I had no desire to be subjected to any of that local drug sales but it was impossible to stay away from it.

We had to enter a 20 foot tall gate which lead into Ocho Rios, It was like entering an Africa Game Reserve. Dirty and dusty gateway to third world country. We walked toward the market place where we knew high pressure sales was an understatement. On the way, we met William, a local drug salesman ( mind you there is NOTHING ILLEGAL about marijuana if you are Jamaican, US Citizens is a different story though, although much of Jamaica's economy is supported by the drugs these entrepreneurs peddle to visitors.

Those playing the cruise scene are like the hot-dog vendors in New York City, these guys make a living selling dope, turning in Americans and partying. Well... William says "Sir, I am a local tour guide, let me show you and your beautiful wife our botanical Gardens." He said it was just beyond the pig roast across the street. 20 people sat around a large Gilligan's Island hut where a large pig was being sliced and pasted from plate to plate. I was ready for slice and a local beer, but William was urging us along toward the botanical gardens. We were still in the company of many other people, never would I be alone with this stranger. Finally, he said, "Sir.. Do you get high" and I knew the only botanical garden was this bozo's pot stash. He apologized and he picked a beautiful flower and handed it to Tracey.

We left  this clown to search out his next victim while we changed our minds on the market place. We opted instead to take a taxi to Dunn's River Falls where many movies have been filmed. It was only about 1.25 miles from the port and round trip it costs a whopping $25 US or $110 Jamaican dollars.

The Fall were pretty. The idea there is to where rubber shoes and climb up the falls. I had just gotten a cast of my right leg and could not climb yet. The cast was on for 4 months after partial knee replacal. So we took lots of photos and watched other people climb the falls. At the end of the falls was a small market place. The venders of a cane I bought for my Father would let me have ANYTHING on his stand for my $15 digital watch. The cane, which I will do a photo spread on someday stands over 4 foot tall and ornately carved with lion heads, snakes and kings. I did find the fellow pictured here who carved your name into bamboo and sugar cane. Here he is carving a cup I brought back for my friend Mike.

After returning we met customs at the gate and they searched Tracey and her bags completely. Me, they never even looked at. I guess it's customary for the woman to smuggle dope out of the country. We got aboard the ship, never to return to Jamaica.

The next day we were safely back in the United States. A humorous point to mention, I came walking through customs carrying that 4 foot Jamaican cane and when asked if I had anything to declare by Customs, I boldly said no. He waved me through with little hassle, I just think he was to lazy to bother with the paper work.

Yes, we would go cruising again, but never to Jamaica and probably not to any of the islands. It may very well be in Alaska or on a Mississippi River boat. If it happens, expect another travelog and lots of photos.